


Fire Away

by unadulteratedhacylover



Category: Lost in Space (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Emotional, F/M, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23942164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unadulteratedhacylover/pseuds/unadulteratedhacylover
Summary: The words were like fire, spilling from his lips and burning everything in its path until all that lay between them were the hollowed-out skeletons of what had been both their hearts.
Relationships: Judy Robinson/Don West
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Fire Away

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from "Titanium" by David Guetta ft. Sia.
> 
> I would suggest listening to Madilyn Bailey's version of "Titanium" while reading this which is what I based this fic off of. It's a slower, more piano driven version and it's heartbreakingly beautiful.

He hadn’t meant to yell at her. It was the last thing he had wanted to do. But no matter what he said, she wouldn’t listen, and he _needed_ her to listen.

The words were like fire, spilling from his lips and burning everything in its path until all that lay between them were the hollowed-out skeletons of what had been both their hearts.

He watched her face crumple, the devastation in her eyes, her lips trembling as she tried her best not to break in front of him. She nodded her ascent, accepting his words with the stoicism she reserved for strangers but never, ever for him. But he was a stranger now, wasn’t he? He had lost all rights to call himself anything more. Especially when she turned, silent, walking away from him, his soul cracking with every clack of her boots against the metal floor.

The urge to run after her, take it all back, consumed him, each breath agony knowing what he had just done. But he held fast, gripping the edge of the table with so much force he could hear the _pop_ of his knuckles. The pain didn’t even register, wasn’t even close to the emptiness he felt, knew he would feel from now on.

It was the only way to protect her. And if he had to break her heart a million times over to keep her safe, he would. Even if it meant breaking his in return.

Smith was dangerous. A psychopath. What she had done to Will, to Maureen, to him and John when they were up in space…if she hurt Judy because of him…

She already suspected theirs was much more than a friendship. And that scared him more than anything. He would move heaven and earth just to see her smile and feelings like those, right now, were a liability. A risk. One that he wouldn’t, couldn’t, take.

“FUCK!”

He pounded his fists onto the surface of the circular table. He would allow himself this one outburst, just this one, but no more. His entire body trembled with pent up anger. Anger at himself. Anger at the situation. Anger at the universe for letting him fall in love with a woman as beautiful and smart and perfect as Judy Robinson and for letting him think that just this once, he could be happy.

Old habits had him wanting to crawl back to his room and drown his sorrows in the last bottle of whiskey. It would be so easy. Forget it all for a little while. Forget the pain, forget that his world had just come crumbling down and would never be the same.

_You don’t get to take the easy way out._

No. No, he didn’t. But he couldn’t go back to his room like this. Only two nights before he had made love to her there for the first time, held her in his arms while she slept, whispered that he loved her even though he knew she couldn’t hear him. She permeated every inch of the space like she permeated every inch of his heart. Returning to that space right now would break him.

He made his way down the ladder to the cargo hold, intent on running on the treadmill until his lungs gave out. If he exhausted himself, his brain would shut down, he wouldn’t think about her, about all of it.

_I'm bulletproof nothing to lose  
Fire away, fire away_

He was only halfway down the ladder when he heard the soft strains of the music from across the room.

_Ricochet, you take your aim  
Fire away, fire away_

Judy’s comm sat atop one of the crates. A space had been cleared to the left of the Chariot and there she stood, no, _danced_ , barefoot. And it was breathtaking.

_You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium_

Her back bowed. A leg lifted toward the sky, long and graceful. She came down to earth again, twirling, once, twice, three times.

_Cut me down  
But it's you who’ll have further to fall  
Ghost town and haunted love_

Her body was like its own symphony, playing alongside the song in perfect harmony. The fluidity of her movements, each turn, each jump, executed with the grace and skill of a professional dancer. It was stunning.

_You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium  
I am titanium_

The lyrics were not lost on him. She had chosen the song specifically for this moment. The emotion poured off her in waves, assaulting him with its intensity. Raw, powerful, heartbreaking. He could see the tears silently pouring down her face and he gripped the ladder tightly.

_You can’t go to her. Leave. She’s safer this way._

She collapsed to her knees as the last strains of the song faded away, head in her hands, gut wrenching sobs pouring from her. Each one sent a shard of ice directly to his heart, shattering it.

He had to leave now before he gave in to the temptation to stay. Turning back to the ladder, he started to climb when he heard her soft voice call out to him.

“Don?”

When he turned, he could see the hope in her eyes and he hated himself for what he was about to do to her, _again_.

“I didn’t know anyone was down here. I’ll come back later.”

And there it was. The light was snuffed out. He could see the hurt engulfing her and before she could say anything else, he scrambled up the ladder and away from everything he wanted to be running _to_.

Once in his quarters, he dropped to the floor, his back to the wall. He stared for a moment at the bed, remembering the feel of Judy’s bare skin against his, the weight of her head on his chest as she slept. He closed his eyes and let his head drop back against the wall.

_She’s safer this way._

But it didn’t make it hurt any less.

He finally let the tears come.


End file.
